Tag Archives: Relationships

Message In A Minute: Closer Than A Brother

I’m a good friend, but not a great friend.

Being a natural introvert plays a large part in my lack of friendship greatness. I’m a loner to the core. If needed, I can be extroverted for short bursts of time, but I usually come crashing down after that.

I’ve battled depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia much of my life. Some seasons are better than others, and I have been fortunate to overcome many issues related to anxiety. But, I fall short in building friendships.

I’m sure I’ve frustrated and confounded my friends over the years.

It’s not that I lack deep affection and concern for my friends, in fact I care tremendously about them. But I’ve always felt like I relate through a cloud, like a fog surrounds me and I can’t relax or be totally comfortable. It’s almost always my issues that keep me from being closer with friends.

Other people relate so effortlessly and I envy that skill.

Maybe I overthink simple things, maybe I’m too worried about being accepted, maybe there’s a secret to relating I’ve yet to discover.

I’ve sincerely questioned why I can’t quite make it work.

Again, I think I’m a good friend, just not a great friend.

Often, in the past, I’ve been left out of activities, not invited, not included. But honestly, I know much of that comes from earlier times I’ve not included myself, refused an invitation, or left a social situation early because of my discomfort.

I’m not looking for pity, I’m just being as honest as I know how to be.

I value the friends I have and I am thankful for them, I thank God that these friends care about me, even with my quirks.

There is a scripture that means more than the world to me because I’ve struggled in this area. The scripture says “There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” That scripture gives me peace, hope, and assurance.

A relationship with God is too often talked about like a commodity. Something to be bargained for, earned, or attained. But the good news is, this relationship is simple, pure, and everlasting.

Many times, religion clutters this relationship. Other times past experiences may hold us back. It’s possible that fear of rejection restricts our acceptance of this ultimate relationship.

Take it from me, an absolute amateur when it comes to relationships.

The friend that’s sticks closer than a brother offers the most welcoming, faithful, and tenaciously devoted relationship you can ever experience.

You can build your life on it.

No matter your hang ups, issues, failures, or quirks.

Trust the friend that sticks closer than a brother.

-Tom Wise

DATE NIGHT | LOOKING BACK ON 2017

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

Date Night is a new series that will post on Thursday of each week.  We want to encourage you to invest in your marriage with deep and meaningful conversation just like you did when you were dating.

Unfortunately for many married couples, once they say “I do,” they stop pursuing one another.  It is very easy to quit going on dates, to stop discovering new things about one another, and forget that life together is an adventure.

There isn’t anything magical about the questions that we will offer each week.  The real magic happens when two people take the time to invest in one another.  Whether you use these questions or some discussion starters of your own, we hope that you will once again find the wonder of getting to know each other and using these conversations to shape your future together.

Conversation Starters

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WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DOES GOD WANT WITH YOU

Photo by Hugues de BUYER-MIMEURE on Unsplash

Not too long ago, I came across a powerful video that illustrated the kind of relationship that God wants to have with us.  In my own words I want share a slightly different version of video, and discuss briefly what God wants in a relationship with us.

Imagine if you will, the following scene.

Alex and Camille are celebrating their one year anniversary; they have chosen a restaurant, gotten all dressed up, and Camille is even having a good hair day.

They arrive at the restaurant and after a short wait, they are escorted to their table.  The waiter promptly makes his way to the table to receive their drink requests.  He steps away to retrieve the drinks, while Alex and Camille make small talk and reminiscing about their first year of marriage.  The two of them were caught up in a moment of laughter when the waiter returned with their drinks.

After some polite conversation, the waiter asks if he can take their order.  Alex defers to Camille and she places her order.  Alex then orders the prime rib, with a baked potato and broccoli.  “Excellent choice sir,” replies the waiter.  Also, if you could bring a Caesar salad with grilled chicken, a lobster tail with a side salad, and a grilled chicken breast with asparagus and a sweet potato.  “We can certainly do that,” said the waiter.  He asked if they were ready for refills and then left to place their order.

Camille had seen Alex eat a hole pizza once, but she was in shock with all the food he had just ordered.  “How are you going to eat all that food,” she asked in amazement.  “Oh, that’s not all for me,” Alex replied as he stood up.  “Good, here she is now.”

Alex waived across the room to get someone’s attention.  Camille was perplexed.  She had no idea what was going on.  She wondered who was here.

“Honey, I want to introduce to you to Kristie.  She was my high school sweetheart when I graduated.  We were sure that we were going to get married, but our plans took us in different directions, but she has always had a special place in my heart.

Camille could not believe what she was hearing.  “That’s all well and good, but why is she here tonight?”  “I just thought it would be nice if she was here to celebrate our special day with us.”

Alex stood up again and waived across the room.  “Great!  They both made it.”

“Who made it?”

“Sheila, and Becky.”

“Who are Sheila and Becky?”

“Here we go.  You all can sit right here.”

“Honey, this is Becky,” as he pointed to the lady that stood to his right.  “We lived in the house right across the street from me when I was growing up.  We dated a little in middle school, and we have remained friends all these years.”

“This is Sheila,” as he pointed to the lady on his left.   “We had an on again off again relationship all through middle school, high school, and through some of my college years.  Whenever things got too serious, one of us would break things off.  We eventually realized we were not meant to be lifelong partners, so we decided to just go it as friends.”

“I’m so glad all of you could make it tonight.  This is such a special evening for Camille and myself.”

As Alex turned back to Camille, it was obvious that she was not pleased with the situation.

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LEARNING TO SAY GOODBYE | DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING UNSAID

Photo by gn dim on Unsplash

Regret

Several years ago, I lost my father-in-law to pancreatic cancer.  That was the first person I had lost in my life that I genuinely loved.  I had lost people that were acquaintances, but I had never lost someone that had invested in me and cared for the outcome of my life.  In fact, until Eddie, I had never had another man love me the way that he loved me.  It was the first great loss of my young life.

I was about 28 years old when Eddie passed away.  I was a young man that did not know how to have a healthy relationship with another man.  I never had a healthy relationship with my father, or any other man in my life.  I had buddies to run around with, I had a best friend that I would have died for, but I never had an emotionally stable, mature man, gift me his unconditional love. Continue reading →

28 WAYS TO EXPERIENCE GOD | #12: ATTEND CHURCH REGULARLY

28 Ways To Experience God “Well… there it is,” you are exclaiming, if you have been following along.  The conversation always comes around to reading your bible, praying, and going to church.

I don’t really have a defense for you if this comes across as being negative nor do I have an apology.  Being consistent in my attendance at church benefits me in so many ways.  I am surrounded by people that love me and want God’s best for me.  I am around people that will pray for me.  I am around people that go out of their way to love my children.  I am surrounded by people that are on the same journey that I am on so they understand how difficult it is to live holy in a sinful world.  And the list goes on and on. Continue reading →