When my wife and I were newlyweds, we lived in an apartment in a questionable part of town.
One morning we discovered that someone had tried to steal my wife’s Jeep. The steering column was damaged and there was a screwdriver laying on the floorboard. Apparently the thief couldn’t get the vehicle started so he settled for stealing all the CDs and a first generation cell phone.
We were angry to say the least. If I had seen it happening, I likely would’ve gotten violent. We filled out a police report and insurance covered some minor repairs but that wasn’t the end of the story.
Very shortly after this happened, I started a new job. I was a counselor for teenagers who were in our state’s custody. Usually these teens had limited contact with their families, if at all. Because of their age and behavior they generally weren’t candidates for foster families. The company I worked for looked after and educated the teens in basic life skills.
Many of them had rough lives and were often in trouble. I got to know all of them very well and helped in all the ways I could. It was a rewarding job in many aspects.
In a short time, I got to know one of the boys well, we shared the same interests in sports. We had a few long conversations. His childhood was difficult, a broken home, abuse, neglect, poverty, and abandonment was all he knew. I felt proud of him for making it through all of that.
One evening, he confessed that he used to break into vehicles in the area. After a few questions we figured out that he was probably the one who broke into my wife’s Jeep. His face turned red, his shoulders dropped, and he stared at the floor.
So there I was, within arms reach of the object of my anger.
But I didn’t feel anger at all, in fact, I laughed.
The boy apologized over and over again. I assured him that it was all forgiven. And we got hysterical about the fact that all he was able to take to the local pawn shop that day was my wife’s Christian CDs.
To this day, I still find forgiveness a difficult choice, but it seemed extremely easy this time.
When you know a person’s story, everything changes.
When you get the whole picture, the scene looks different.
When you build a relationship, understanding naturally occurs.
On a daily basis, we have choices to ostracize others or be open to them, write them off or welcome them, ignore them or include them.
You have every right to protect yourself and your property. We should never allow others to take advantage of us. There are definite times to take a stand.
But we have to balance that with compassion when the time comes. Don’t let anger be the final word. Let mercy overtake your heart.
The strongest act in all of humanity is to forgive.
-Tom Wise
