Tag Archives: Healing

Message In A Minute: Towards the Sunlight

After my parents divorced, they lived roughly one mile apart.

I would ride my bike back and forth a couple of times a week.

One day while riding to my dad’s house something happened that I will never forget. I began pedaling and noticed that it was starting to rain behind me. But as I continued to ride, I was traveling into the sunlight. If I slowed down the rain would catch up to me, if I accelerated, the rain would stay behind me.

I was traveling east and apparently the clouds were traveling the same exact direction at relatively the same speed. It was basically a straight route to my dad’s house, so I knew I could beat the rain clouds to my destination.

I had fun slowing down and hearing the rain steadily falling just feet behind me while I stayed dry. At the time it was simply a unique occurrence that entertained me. Years later, I felt like it was an analogy for my life.

I’ve battled depression most of my life. Like so many others who struggle, there were times I couldn’t find the strength to fight. It was like a rain cloud that followed me around. Even after becoming a Christian, I still struggled, I still got rained on from time to time, I still lost ground every so often.

But as a Christ follower, I had the strength to work the pedals, I had a hope-filled journey, I had an amazing destination.

To this day, I need to make sure I’m heading towards the sunlight.

The truth is, the depression still looms. But I know for sure which direction to travel, I understand that if I keep a reasonable speed in that direction, depression can’t win.

Even if the rain catches up to me, I’ll be fine. I may get wet, I may lose a little ground, but I won’t stop moving forward.

Of course, I wish I didn’t even need to think about depression at all. I wish it wasn’t a possibility. But it is for me, and for some of you, it’s the same way.

Don’t stop riding towards the sunlight.

Talk to someone, find a counselor, speak with a doctor.

But most of all, ask God for strength and healing.

God can heal instantly, I’ve seen it happen. But I also know that many times we have to carry afflictions with us. Don’t mistake hardship with some kind of punishment from God.

Occasionally, He delivers you fully.
Often, He walks with you through it.
Always, He is the sunlight leading you home.

-Tom Wise

Message in A Minute: Restored With Gold

I just watched an episode of the “The Brady Bunch” where Peter breaks his moms’s favorite vase.

The kids join forces to glue the vase back together. Only to have it leak water all over the dining room table. Revealing it’s brokenness and less than perfect restoration.

Peter finally confesses but the vase was beyond repair.

It reminded me of an amazing illustration of how God works with broken humanity.

I’ve witnessed this illustration used a few different times and every time it communicates deeper than the words used in the presentation.

Kintsugi is a Japanese method for repairing broken ceramic pottery. Instead of discarding the bowl, cup, or plate, it is repaired in a unique way. Making it more than a simple dish, it could even be considered a work of art.

A special adhesive mixed with gold or silver is applied between broken pieces and the pieces are brought back together. Often the pottery is more beautiful then before. The idea is not to hide the brokenness but to highlight and honor it.

Because the dish is more interesting when it has a story.

Kintsigi can be translated to “the golden journey” or “repair with gold”, it is a wonderful illustration of what God can do with broken people.

Multiple times in the Bible, it says that God is close to the broken hearted. Many stories of God rescuing, restoring, and renewing are found in scripture. Maybe you know the scriptures, and maybe you’ve heard those stories.

But I hope you know this, you can be one of those stories.

If you give your broken pieces to God, He can make something more beautiful than before. You past, your mistakes, the wrongs you’ve done, the wrongs that have been done to you, all of it can be part of a graceful journey when God is involved.

But the kintsugi expert can’t do the amazing work without all the pieces, and God can’t revitalize you without all of yours.

God won’t force His way into your life, He won’t take the pieces from you without your permission. But, He will ask you to let go of them and let Him do His work.

You are valuable to Him.
Your healing is valuable to Him.
Your story is valuable to others.

Let God have the pieces, trust Him with the process, and watch what He produces.

Don’t be surprised if the broken areas are now the most interesting and encouraging places in your life.

Be a story of God’s grace.
See the story of Gods Grace in others.
And share your story so others will know that nothing is too broken for God.

-Tom Wise

Message in A Minute: Within Reach

I love the Andy Griffith show, so forgive me for this example.

Otis, the town drunk would come in the courthouse on the weekend and lock himself up for public intoxication. He would sleep off his hangover, and he would let himself out of the prison cell the next day. It all worked very smooth,

Otis was safe from hurting himself or someone else. The sheriff didn’t have to go out of his way to pursue the guilty man. And Barney got to have someone in a cell, which he seemed to like. All three were grateful in their own way.

Here comes the difficult idea.

We are a lot like Otis.

A good number of our problems are self-inflicted. Not all of our troubles, but many are brought on by behaviors or circumstances that we have some control over. I understand that some issues are beyond our control, some problems are caused by others, and difficult things just happen in life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to bring guilt on all of us. I simply want to encourage you to look for a key.

The answers and solutions to most of our problems are within reach. Many of the situations we find ourselves in are like the Mayberry Courthouse. There is a key hanging on the wall, so close we can reach it.

We can let ourselves out.

God can and will do miracles in certain situations, but in other circumstances, he provides a key on the wall. He makes sure that the answer is within reach.

Maybe the key on the wall is a decision you need to make, a substance you need to avoid, or a conversation you need to have.

God can guide you, family can support you, friends can cheer you on. But only you can reach for the key, unlock the door, and walk out of the problem.

Be honest, be humble, and be grateful that sometimes the answer is hanging on the wall right beside you.

-Tom Wise

FEARLESS: WEEK #5

In this last installment of FEARLESS we will look at ways to encourage those who struggle with irrational fear. Then we will take a quick look at a psychological understanding of fear, followed by a basic spiritual understanding.

If you have a loved one who battles anxiety, panic attacks, or other fear, it can be overwhelming trying to help. The truth is, if you try to understand the fear completely, you will be frustrated. The one struggling with the fear doesn’t always understand where the fear is coming from either. You likely will find yourself angry, confused, and wore out while attempting to love them through it. But know that your encouragement has an impact, your determination is appreciated, and ultimately the love you show will empower.

Here are some proven ways you can help:

  • Pray for Them: Ask God to build them up.
  • Listen: Encourage conversations, and listen attentively.
  • Learn More: This series is just the tip of the iceberg so to speak, continue to research.
  • Build Trust: Let them know you won’t give up and their relationship with you is secure.
  • Don’t Assume: You may think you know what is in their mind, you likely don’t.
  • Don’t Control: You can’t fight this for them, you can only be the wingman.
  • Don’t See Weakness: Know that it takes incredible strength to function with fear.
  • Don’t Shame: If they fail, encourage them to get back up.
  • Don’t Enable: Don’t be the refuge from fear, be a refueling place between the battles.
  • Celebrate: When they progress, find ways to applaud them.
  • Pray for Yourself: You will need patience, kindness, firmness, and lots of love.

While I had a pastor, a counselor, and friends help me through my many struggles. No one helped me more than my wife. She stayed true to each one of the points shown above. She loved me, encouraged me, and walked with me through it all. Be that kind of parent, friend, brother, or sister to your loved one.

 

Now for a little further understanding about fear.

According to Karl Albrecht, PhD there are only five basic fears, out of which almost all of our other so-called fears are sourced.

  1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just calling it “fear of death.” The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxietyin all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
  2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body’s boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
  3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it’s commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
  4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The “silent treatment,” when imposed by a group, can have a devastating psychological effect on its target.
  5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the Self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one’s constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

These five basic fears form a simple hierarchy, or “feararchy”

Anxiety uses one of these basic fears and multiplies the physical and mental reactions. Often anxiety misapplies these reactions, and causes further confusion by overwhelming the person experiencing the fear. These five categories of fear make sense to me. I can find a place for every fear I’ve experienced in one of the five basic fears. I understand why these fears exist.

But what makes just as much sense to me, and where I find great peace is a spiritual understanding of fear. To be more precise, a Christian understanding of fear. I will not try to impress you with big theological words here. I am going to sum up what could take a significant amount of time to cover thoroughly. I encourage you to look into a deeper understanding of fear found in the Bible.

The Bible talks about fear quite a bit. It states that “perfect love” (found in God the father) “casts out fear”. It states many times “fear not” or “do not be afraid” while encouraging people to trust God. And then there is a verse found in the book of Proverbs that seems to encourage us to fear.

Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

In all of the Bible study I’ve done on this verse, and other verses that speak of the “fear of the Lord” using multiple trusted sources, I’ve found this verse more encouraging than fear inducing.

This kind of fear translates to having a humbling and overwhelming respect for an awe-inspiring creator. If you are a Christian, you understand this reverence and awe to be in one since scary and in another since comforting. If you are not a Christian, imagine if you were face to face with a being so powerful it could create the universe. Even if you aren’t a believer, thinking this idea through produces a sense of awe.

Christians of different types believe that no matter how much knowledge we accumulate, how many good works we do, or how great our lives become, God is the source of it all. Having an overwhelming respect for God is the beginning of the real meaning of life itself.

This indescribable being promises that His love will cast out fear. He promises that He will never leave us, He is for us, that nothing can separate us from His love. Even if we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, there is nothing to fear outside of His awesome power.

I encourage you to be open to this wonderful God, who puts fear in its place.

I want to thank you for following along with this series. My personal story is just one of thousands of stories about irrational fear. As I have mentioned multiple times in the series, our goal at Finding Wonder is for you to find peace from fear. If that is through counseling, medication, or another method than the one shared here, we celebrate it.

But we also won’t shy away from what we believe is the ultimate answer to overcoming fear. There is a God who loves you at this moment, just as you are. We want you to be at peace with Him and yourself. We want the best for you because God has been so good to us and He will be the same for you.

We want you to find the source of peace, the source of hope, the source of mercy and grace, Jesus Christ.

We want you to forever be in the process of Finding Wonder in the goodness of God.

Tom Wise

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FEARLESS: WEEK #4

In this series, you’ve been challenged to overcome fear by letting it express itself and run its course, thereby losing its power. I realize this is counterintuitive to our preprogrammed responses of fleeing, or fighting. But this is a proven way to put fear in its place. This is a method to gain your freedom back, to take your life back, and to fill you with courage to do what you are gifted to do.

I hope you understand that the idea is not to never experience fear again, but to keep it in perspective. If you feel fear in a real dangerous situation, it makes sense and its beneficial. If you feel fear going up the first hill on a roller-coaster, that makes sense, trust me, I feel it every time. But if you are overwhelmed with fear the entire roller-coaster ride, you’ve missed out on the joy. And if you feel consistent fear in everyday life, it can be debilitating and agonizing.

I want to reiterate something I shared earlier in the series. If the methods I’ve shared here aren’t the answer for you, don’t give up. Many people are helped with counseling, medication, prayer, or other methods. My goal for you is simple, overcoming irrational fear.

Regardless of the methods you find useful, here are some way to arrange your life so that fear has less of a grip on you. Fear feeds on chaos, physical depletion, and emotional weariness.

So here we go: I may not be your favorite person after this short list, but this list can make an enormous difference. I understand that some of you may have physical limitations, financial limitations, or other circumstances that can become excuses to avoid the items listed here. But everyone can take at least small steps in each category. Also, each of these categories could be their own series. Concentrate on one at a time. Don’t be overwhelmed, celebrate small victories.

  • Declutter Your Daily Life: At home, work, or school, clean up the mess. For most people clutter causes stress and even anxiety.
  • Get Physically Fit: To the best of your ability, watch what you eat and exercise often. Explore ways to quit habits that are bad for you physically. I can’t explain to you how much easier my anxiety is to deal with when I am physically healthy.
  • Find Financial Peace: Nothing adds stress to my life more than worrying about money. Take steps toward easing this tension in your life. Pay off a debt, cut an expense, find a way to generate more income.
  • Reduce Relational Chaos: For some of you, this may mean having conversations about how to resolve conflict in a more mature way. For some it may mean you need to re-evaluate how you choose significant others. Also, it may mean you need to set healthy boundaries with family and friends.
  • Be Aware of Stress Producers: This will be specific to your life. For me, I have greatly reduced the amount of national and local news I consume. That alone made a huge difference in my life. For you, it may be other areas you should consider, but I imagine there are ways for you to limit the stress producers in your life.

The idea here is to set up your life in a way that reduces the fuel for fear. Fear will still sneak itself back in, but you now can limit the areas of approach. And on top of that, when fear shows up, you have the ability to let it be present and continue moving forward knowing it has limited power and sustainability.

I hope you find encouragement in this series. You are able to overcome all that fear has to offer. Make a small step today towards limiting fear’s control over you. Then begin to build on that.

Next week, we will focus on ways to help others who are struggling with fear. Also, I will give you my opinion on the proper understanding of fear from a theological perspective.

Tom Wise

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