Traditional masculinity is under attack. And some aspects of it should be. To tell boys that they shouldn’t cry or show emotion is ridiculous. God gives all of us, both males and females, emotions so why should we ignore them. God gives us compassion, understanding, and wisdom too. All of these are equally masculine and feminine traits. We should not be afraid of them or deny they exist. He put them in us for a reason.
You know what else God gave the masculine soul? Strength, power, ferocity, risk, bravery, courage. These should be embraced as well. They should be developed correctly and applied accurately for boys to grow into men. Whenever we tell boys to settle down or be safe or don’t act that way, we are telling them to deny themselves. And what that leads to is boys growing into men sized bodies, with a man’s sized strength, and power and money and weapons, but without proper training in how to use them. The results are obvious. High crime rates and incarceration for men, fatherless homes, gang violence, single moms.
John Eldridge says in his book, Wild at Heart, that he loves to watch the male lions at the zoo. But he sees that they are but a shell of themselves. That they aren’t living their full potential. They are far from domesticated but they are not wild either. Because we’ve caged them. And why do we cage them? Because they are powerful, dangerous and ferocious when they are wild. So is a man. A man does have strength and power and ferocity. So society cages them. The church cages them. Men are told that the goal is to be a nice guy. Really? That’s our goal? To be nice? That’s denying who God made us to be. I’m not saying that men shouldn’t be nice, but that shouldn’t be the end goal. Men should be nice and good. But also honorable, trustworthy, brave, courageous, and adventurous and at times, yes, he needs to be ferocious and dangerous. That’s why the majority of our military and police force are made up of men. And that’s not to say that women aren’t capable of this as well, but that’s not the point of what I’m writing.
What a boy needs, is to be told it is ok to cry. It’s ok to climb a tree. It’s ok to build that ramp and run your bike off of it. It’s ok to be adventurous. But at the same time, it’s ok to be understanding, it is ok, no, it’s required to respect other people. It’s ok to stand up for yourself or for someone who can’t stand up for themselves. It’s honorable to help people. It’s a good thing to be a good person, but it’s also good to go on the adventure, take the road less traveled and sometimes fight for the right things. And to seek God’s will in our lives.
Jesus was the perfect man. He is our example. He cared for the widows, the orphans and the lame. He showed compassion to the broken and the hurting. He cried and mourned. He welcomed the children. He spent His time with the “least of these”. But do you know what else he did? He went into the wild places. He spent 40 days in the wilderness. Several times he went to the mountain to pray. He forced people out of the temple. He violently turned over tables. He stood up to the religious leaders taking advantage of people. And He even faced down Satan himself. That is our masculine example.
By Clay Wise, Guest Writer at Findingwonder
